How many of you remember taking road trips with your family back in the '50's? Now, we are talking way back to 2 lane roads even before interstates existed. We could hardly wait for the next Burma Shave sign to appear as we sat looking out the windows.  Remember those signs?  There were small red signs with white writing & were placed about 100 ft. apart. They were posted all along the countryside on the sides of the roads and in farmers' fields.  Remember how we wanted to be the first one in the car to see what the punch line would be.  At one time there were over 7,000 signs across the U.S. The year 1963 brought the end to new Burma Shave signs.

IS HE LONESOME OR JUST BLIND -
THIS GUY WHO DRIVES
SO CLOSE BEHIND?

PASSING CARS
WHEN YOU CAN'T SEE
MAY GET YOU A GLIMPSE
OF ETERNITY

DRINKING DRIVERS -
NOTHING WORSE
THEY PUT THE QUART
BEFORE THE HEARSE

DIM YOUR LIGHTS
BEHIND A CAR
LET FOLKS SEE
HOW BRIGHT YOU ARE

THIRTY DAYS
HATH SEPTEMBER
APRIL JUNE AND
THE SPEED OFFENDER

ANGELS
WHO GUARD YOU
WHEN YOU DRIVE
USUALLY RETIRE AT 65

THE BLACKENED FOREST
SMOLDERS YET
BECAUSE HE FLIPPED
A CIGARETTE

FOREST FIRES
START FROM SCRATCH
SO THINK BEFORE
YOU TOSS THAT MATCH

DROWSY?
JUST REMEMBER, PARD
THAT MARBLE SLAB
IS DOGGONE HARD

DON'T TRY PASSING
ON A SLOPE
UNLESS YOU HAVE
A PERISCOPE

THE ONE WHO DRIVES WHEN
HE'S BEEN DRINKING
DEPENDS ON YOU
TO DO HIS THINKING

IF DAISIES ARE YOUR
FAVORITE FLOWER
KEEP PUSHIN' UP THOSE
MILES-PER-HOUR

SLOW DOWN, PA
SAKES ALIVE
MA MISSED SIGNS
FOUR AND FIVE

CAUTIOUS RIDER
TO HER  RECKLESS DEAR
LET'S HAVE  LESS BULL
AND MORE STEER

CATTLE CROSSING
MEANS GO SLOW
THAT OLD BULL IS SOME
COW'S BEAU

DINAH DOESN'T
TREAT HIM RIGHT
BUT IF HE'D SHAVE
DYNA-MITE!

PASSING SCHOOL ZONE
TAKE IT   SLOW
LET OUR LITTLE
SHAVERS GROW

SAID FARMER BROWN
WHO'S BALD ON TOP
WISH I COULD
ROTATE THE CROP

SUBSTITUTES
CAN LET YOU DOWN
QUICKER THAN A
STRAPLESS GOWN

THIS COOLING SHAVE
WILL NEVER FAIL
TO STAMP ITS USER
FIRST CLASS MALE

GRANDPA KNOWS
IT AIN'T TOO LATE
HE'S GONE TO GIT
SOME WIDDER BAIT

TRAINS DON'T WANDER
ALL OVER THE MAP
'CAUSE NOBODY  SITS IN THE
 ENGINEER'S LAP

TO CHANGE THAT
SHAVING JOB TO JOY
YOU GOTTA USE
THE REAL McCOY

THE MONKEY TOOK ONE
LOOK AT JIM AND
THREW THE PEANUTS
BACK AT HIM HE NEEDED

SUBSTITUTES
ARE LIKE A GIRDLE
THEY FIND SOME JOBS
THEY JUST CAN'T HURDLE

It GAVE MCDONALD
THAT NEEDED CHARM
HELLO HOLLYWOOD
GOOD-BY FARM

TEMPTED TO TRY IT?
FOLLOW YOUR HUNCH
BE "TOP BANANA"
NOT ONE
OF THE BUNCH

OTHERS CLAIM
THEIR PRODUCT GOOD
BUT OURS
DOES WHAT
YOU THINK IT SHOULD

USE OUR CREAM
AND WE BETCHA
GIRLS WON'T WAIT
THEY'LL COME
AND GETCHA

THIS CREAM MAKES THE
GARDENER'S DAUGHTER
PLANT HER TU-LIPS
WHERE SHE
OUGHTER

DEAR LOVER BOY,
YOUR PHOTO CAME
BUT YOUR DOGGONE
BEARD WON'T FIT THE FRAME

HE ASKED HIS KITTEN
TO PET AND PURR
SHE EYED HIS PUSS
AND SCREAMED "WHAT FUR!"

THIS CREAM IS LIKE
A PARACHUTE
THERE ISN'T
ANY SUBSTITUTE

THIS WILL NEVER
COME TO PASS
A BACK-SEAT
DRIVER
OUT OF GAS

DON'T LOSE
YOUR HEAD
TO GAIN A  MINUTE
YOU NEED YOUR HEAD
YOUR BRAINS ARE IN IT

 

DON'T LEAVE SAFETY
TO MERE CHANCE
THAT'S WHY
BELTS ARE ALL
SOLD WITH PANTS

AT A QUIZ PA AIN'T
NO WHIZ
BUT HE KNOWS HOW
TO KEEP MA HIS

THE HERO WAS
 BRAVE AND STRONG AND
WILLIN' SHE FELT HIS
 CHIN - THEN WED THE  VILLAIN

THE DRAFTEE TRIED A TUBE
AND PURRED
WELL WHADDYA KNOW
I'VE BEEN DEFURRED

BROTHER SPEEDER
LET'S REHEARSE
ALL TOGETHER
GOOD MORNING, NURSE

MEN WITH WHISKERS
'NEATH THEIR NOSES
OUGHTA HAVE TO KISS
LIKE ESKIMOSES

DROVE TOO LONG
DRIVER SNOOZING
WHAT HAPPENED
NEXT IS NOT AMUSING

DON'T LEAVE SAFETY
TO MERE CHANCE
THAT'S WHY BELTS ARE
SOLD WITH PANTS

MANY A FOREST USED
 TO STAND WHERE A
LIGHTED MATCH
GOT OUT OF HAND

HE LIT A MATCH
GO CHECK GAS TANK
THAT'S WHY THEY CALL HIM
SKINLESS FRANK

 
 SPEED WAS HIGH
WEATHER  WAS HOT
TIRES WERE THIN
X MARKS THE  SPOT

 

AT INTERSECTIONS
LOOK EACH  WAY
A HARP SOUNDS NICE
 BUT IT'S HARD TO PLAY

HIS CROP OF WHISKERS
NEEDED REAPING
THAT'S WHAT KEPT
HIS LENA LEAPING

THE BIG BLUE TUBE'S
JUST LIKE LOUISE
YOU GET A THRILL
FROM EVERY SQUEEZE

 

A CHRISTMAS HUG
A BIRTHDAY KISS
AWAITS THE WOMAN
WHO GIVES THE

6 MILLION HOUSEWIVES
CAN'T BE WRONG
WHO KEEP THEIR HUSBANDS
RIGHT ALONG IN

BRISTLES SCRATCHED
HIS COOKIE'S MAP
THAT'S WHAT MADE POOR
GINGER SNAP

 

WE'VE MADE GRANDPA
LOOK SO YOUTHFUL
HIS PENSION BOARD THINKS
HE'S UNTRUTHFUL

HENRY THE EIGHTH
SURE HAD TROUBLE
SHORT TERM WIVES
LONG TERM STUBBLE

STATISTICS PROVE
NEAR AND FAR
THAT FOLKS WHO
DRIVE LIKE CRAZY  ARE!

IF CRUSOE'D KEPT HIS CHIN
MORE TIDY
HE MIGHT HAVE FOUND
A LADY FRIDAY

IF ANYTHING WILL PLEASE
YOUR JILL
A LITTLE JACK
FOR THIS JAR WILL

TOUGHEST WHISKERS
IN THE TOWN
WE HOLD 'EM UP
YOU MOW 'EM DOWN

 

THE BEARDED DEVIL
IS FORCED TO DWELL
IN THE ONLY PLACE
WHERE THEY DON'T SELL

THESE SIGNS ARE NOT
FOR LAUGHS ALONE
THE FACE THEY SAVE
MAY BE YOUR OWN

THE SAFEST RULE
NO IFS OR BUTS
JUST DRIVE LIKE EVERY
ONE ELSE IS NUTS!

 

AROUND THE CURVE
LICKETY-SPLIT
IT'S A BEAUTIFUL CAR
WASN'T IT?

THE WOLF IS SHAVED
SO NEAT AND TRIM
RED RIDING HOOD
IS CHASING HIM

SHE PUT A BULLET
THROUGH HIS HAT
BUT HE'S HAD
CLOSER SHAVES THAN THAT

"NO, NO" SHE SAID
TO HER BRISTLY BEAU
"I'D RATHER
EAT THE MISTLETOE"

WE CAN'T PROVIDE YOU
WITH A DATE
BUT WE DO SUPPLY
THE BEST DARN BAIT

PEDRO WALKED
BACK HOME BY GOLLY
HIS BRISTLY CHIN
WAS HOT-TO-MOLLY

CLANCY'S WHISKERS
TICKLE NANCY
NANCY LOWERED THE BOOM
ON CLANCY!

HEAVEN'S LATEST
NEOPHYTE
SIGNALLED LEFT
THEN TURNED RIGHT

USE THIS CREAM
A DAY OR TWO
THEN DON'T CALL HER -
SHE'LL CALL YOU

FREE - FREE
A TRIP TO MARS
FOR 900
EMPTY JARS

It GAVE MCDONALD
THAT NEEDED CHARM
HELLO HOLLYWOOD
GOOD-BY FARM

BABY YOUR SKIN
KEEP IT FITTER
OR "BABY" WILL GET
ANOTHER SITTER

AT INTERSECTIONS
LOOK EACH  WAY
A HARP SOUNDS NICE
 BUT IT'S HARD TO PLAY

DON'T STICK YOUR ELBOW
OUT SO FAR
IT MAY GO HOME
IN ANOTHER CAR

THE PLACE TO PASS
ON CURVES YOU KNOW
IS ONLY AT
A BEAUTY SHOW

CAR IN  DITCH
DRIVER IN TREE
THE MOON WAS FULL
AND SO WAS HE.

A GUY WHO DRIVES
A CAR WIDE OPEN
IS NOT THINKIN'
HE'S JUST HOPIN'

TWINKLE, TWINKLE
ONE EYED -CAR
WE ALL WONDER
WHERE YOU ARE

ALTHO INSURED
REMEMBER, KIDDO
THEY DON'T PAY YOU
THEY PAY YOUR  WINDOW

HER CHARIOT RACED 80 PER
THEY HAULED AWAY
WHAT HAD 
BEN HER

TRAIN APPROACHING
WHISTLE SQUEALING
PAUSE! AVOID THAT
RUNDOWN FEELING!

A WHISKERY KISS
FOR THE ONE YOU ADORE
MAY NOT MAKE HER MAD
BUT HER FACE WILL BE SORE

THESE SIGNS WE GLADLY
DEDICATE TO MEN
WHO'VE HAD NO
DATE OF LATE

SPRING HAS SPRUNG
THE GRASS HAS RIZ
WHERE LAST YEAR'S
CARELESS DRIVE IS

 

PROPER DISTANCE
TO HIM WAS BUNK
THEY PULLED HIM OUT
OF SOME GUY'S TRUNK

 

SHE EYED HIS BEARD
AND SAID NOT DICE
THE WEDDING'S OFF
I'll COOK THE RICE

 

UNLESS YOUR FACE
IS STINGER FREE
YOU'D BETTER LET
YOUR HONEY BE

A CHIN WHERE  BARBED WIRE
BRISTLES STAND
IS BOUND TO BE
A NO MA'AMS LAND

DON'T KISS YOUR GIRLFRIEND
AT THE GATE
LOVE MIGHT BE BLIND
BUT THE NEIGHBORS AIN'T

5 - STAR GENERALS
PRIVATES 1st CLASS
SHOW EQUAL RANK
IN THE LOOKING-GLASS

LEAVES FACE SOFT
AS WOMAN'S TOUCH
YET DOESN'T COST YOU 
NEAR AS MUCH

HIS ROSE IS WED
HIS VIOLET BLEWs
BUT HIS SUGAR IS SWEET
 SINCE HE TOOK THIS CUE

BABY YOUR SKIN
KEEP IT FITTER
OR "BABY" WILL GET
ANOTHER SITTER

 

A MAN A MISS
 A CAR A CURVE
He KISSED THE MISS
AND MISSED THE CURVE

HE PLAYED THE SAX,
HAD NO B.O. BUT HIS
WHISKERS SCRATCHED
SO SHE LET HIM GO.

COLLEGE BOYS
YOUR COURAGE MUSTER
SHAVE OFF THAT FUZZ
AND COOKIE DUSTER.

IF HUGGING ON HIGHWAYS
IS YOUR SPORT
TRADE IN YOUR CAR
FOR A DAVENPORT

DON'T TAKE A
A CURVE AT SIXTY PER
WE HATE TO LOSE
A CUSTOMER

IF YOU MUST TEST
HER PUCKER PAINT
BE SURE TO DRIVE
WHERE TRAFFIC AIN'T

 

HE TRIED TO CROSS
AS FAST TRAIN NEARED
DEATH DIDN'T DRAFT HIM
HE VOLUNTEERED

TO STEAL A KISS
HE HAD THE KNACK
BUT LACKED THE CHEEK
TO GET ONE BACK

THE HOBO LETS HIS
WHISKERS SPROUT
IT'S TRAINS-NOT GIRLS
THAT HE TAKES OUT

I'D HEARD IT PRAISED
BY DRUG STORE CLERKS
I TRIED THE STUFF
HOT DOG! IT WORKS

RIOT IN DRUG STORE
CALLING ALL CARS
100 CUSTOMERS
99 JARS

LISTEN BIRDS
THESE SIGNS COST MONEY
SO ROOST AWHILE
BUT DON'T GET FUNNY

 

THE WHALE PUT JONAH
DOWN THE HATCH
BUT COUGHED HIM UP
BECAUSE HE SCRATCHED

 

DO NOT PASS
ON CURVE OR HILL
IF THE COPS DON'T CATCH YOU
THE MORTICIANS WILL

 

THE MIDNIGHT RIDE
OF PAUL FOR BEER
LED TO A WARMER
HEMISPHERE

NO  MATTER THE PRICE
NO MATTER HOW NEW
THE BEST SAFETY DEVICE
IN THE CAR IS  YOU

BOTH  HANDS ON THE WHEEL
EYES ON THE ROAD
THAT'S THE SKILLFUL
DRIVER'S  CODE

DRINKING DRIVERS
ENHANCE THEIR CHANCE
TO HIGHBALL HOME
IN AN AMBULANCE

GRANDPA'S OUT
WITH JUNIOR'S DATE
OLD TECHNIQUE
OLD BAIT

BOTH  HANDS ON THE WHEEL
EYES ON THE ROAD
THAT'S THE SKILLFUL
DRIVER'S  CODE

HARDLY A FOOL
 IS STILL ALIVE
WHO PASSED ON A HILL
AT 65

MY JOB IS
KEEPING FACES CLEAN
AND NOBODY KNOWS
DE STUBBLE IV'E SEEN

THE WOLF IS SHAVED
SO NEAT AND TRIM
RED RIDING HOOD
IS CHASING HIM

FUZZY WUZZIE WAS A BEAR
FUZZY WUZZIE HAD NO HAIR
SO FUZZY WUZZIE
WASN'T FUZZIE WUZZIE